How to Date After the Death of a Spouse: 12 Steps (with Pictures)
What is 'too soon' for widows and widowers who date again? Three months after the sudden death of his wife, comedian Patton Oswalt was. How to Date After the Death of a Spouse. The death of a spouse can be one of the most devastating life events one endures. You have lost your partner as well . I recently began dating a man whose last girlfriend passed away a little over a year ago. They were not married but together for six years.
Grief Is Not Timed To grieve is to accept the void that exists in your life following the death of your girlfriend.
Grieving the Death of a Spouse or Significant Other - What's Your Grief
You will always carry feelings for her, but you can move forward and create new relationships even with those existing feelings. Grieving does not have a specified time frame -- and, realistically, grieving may go on forever in different ways.
Dealing with death may cause you to rework your goals and to start feeling and hoping again. Contemplating dating is a step towards feeling hopeful and living again. Will I Forget Her? Entering into a new relationship does not mean you are dishonoring your deceased girlfriend or that you have forgotten her.
Dating After the Death of a Girlfriend | Synonym
You are working on transforming your relationship with her; she died, but your relationship did not die with her. A person integrates death by evoking memories and living out the ethics and values of a deceased loved one, according to psychotherapist Lani Leary, author of "No One Has to Die Alone: Preparing for a Meaningful Death.
Take things slowly when dating again, and spend a lot of time getting to know a future girlfriend before getting serious. Don't Feel Guilty Don't feel guilty about dating again, and don't let friends or family make you feel guilty either, Keogh says. For example, if you bring a new date to a party, your friends may give her the cold shoulder -- out of "respect" for your late girlfriend. Stand up for your date, and demand that she be treated with respect. If you begin dating again within a short period of time, you also may be judged for not properly grieving the loss of your girlfriend.
How soon is too soon?
Remember -- your timeline is your own, and nobody else has the right to judge when you are ready to date again. Don't Focus on the Past When you are out on a date with a new girl, try to keep the focus on her. Though it is natural for her to be curious about your past relationship, talking too much about your girlfriend will interfere with moving forward.
Answer her questions, and then move the conversation back to the present. If you find that you are still not over feelings of loss and grief, consider talking to a counselor or therapist who can help you work through these feelings.