Courtship and dating in china

17 Chinese Dating Etiquette - Rules - Customs - Relationship -

courtship and dating in china

So we've gotten a few questions lately about dating in China. It's an interesting topic that hits on a lot of key cultural touchpoints, so I want to. Chinese dating is just as confusing, and wonderful, as any other type of dating. For Westerners, a willingness to learn about Chinese culture can make an. Every city has anything changed in china different. A willingness to reconceptualize ideas of our cultures in china can be very different. Men or families. Chinese.

Then it will escalate rather quickly. On the second date she grants you, she is already open to the very strong possibility of an actual wedding. And on the third date, in the west, this usually means the end dates with you sleeping together, but in China, this is an indicator that both parties are seriously considering a wedding shortly.

Special Notes on Chinese Courtship Special notes regarding intimacy and courtship in the Chinese culture: If the girl you are dating has consented to sleep with you, be wary and be very clear about your intentions.

In the customs of Chinese courtship, virginity is still valued very highly.

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In fact, it will be hard for a Chinese girl to find an eligible husband when she has lost her virginity. Intimacy can be compared to earnest money or down payment for your dream house in a sense that when a traditional Chinese girl consents to it, she is proving her seriousness in marrying you. Promiscuity is considered immoral. Stages of Dating Chinese dating has many stages. At the beginning, there should be "friendly" dates in public places with friends; at this point there should not be any displays of affection.

Couples in the second stage of dating may go out together without friends, but only very discreetly. This stage could last years, depending upon the woman and her wishes.

The third stage is when the couple goes public with their relationship. It is important to discuss with the woman's parents the decision to formalize the relationship. At this point, the man should remember to take a small gift to the woman's family on every visit.

Finally, after completing all other stages, the man may ask for the woman's hand in marriage.

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Students were allowed to bargain and negotiate the terms of the guarantees. Indeed, the guarantees that sold the most and without extra negotiation were the marriage and family guarantees.

A career was not deemed as necessary if a stable, happy marriage provided a sense of purpose and security instead. Guarantees for patience or adventure, for example, hardly sold at all. The battle of the sexes: Who wears the pants?

A Look at Chinese Culture and Dating

Guys- do you have your real estate in place? I believe the pressure is felt greatly among males and this may include Western males if they have a Chinese girlfriend. Chinese males are expected to provide and offer security to any prospective girlfriends who will hopefully become future wives. The security comes in the form of real estate property for a future home.

If you are a young Chinese, eligible bachelor you better hope that you have enough money saved up to buy that house because some eligible bachelorettes will not give you the time of day otherwise.

I have known both Chinese men and Western men dating Chinese ladies who have been pressured about the house issue pretty early on in their relationships by both the girlfriend and her parents.

courtship and dating in china

Western male friends have told me of being unexpectedly grilled by the parents of girlfriends or even of girls with whom they have informally gone on a couple of dates on how much money they earn, whether they own any property outside of China, and on their future plans and ambitions.

At times I think my Western brothers have it made in China but this is one issue for which I do not envy them. I am happy to escape such inquisitions.

A Look at Chinese Culture and Dating | LoveToKnow

I have mixed feelings about such acts. Personally, I prefer to carry my own purse or bag. That being said, I can see how some women may find it chivalrous, considerate and caring to have their boyfriend or husband carry their bag and buy them something pretty or useful.

That's right, I'm carrying her purse. Pic courtesy of Chinesepeoplehavenostyle While it may seem I have described a relationship dynamic where the Chinese woman very much wears the pants and that the man must demonstrate his potential and devotion through small acts such as purse carrying to grand gestures of buying a home, I believe that this is an important step in giving the man the upper hand.

courtship and dating in china

I think many Chinese men feel that their manhood is being preserved by playing the protective and breadwinning role. Some men may even have power and insecurity issues if the woman is taller the height and income things contribute to my theory as to why it is so rare to see Chinese men together with foreign women. It sadly seems that the closer a woman approaches to 30, the chances of her being suitable for dating and marriage begin to wane. Her well-meaning parents were so distraught that their daughter would miss any opportunity to marry and made arrangements for her to marry a man who apparently came from lower standing.

courtship and dating in china

The daughter consented to marry this man she hardly knew. The marriage sadly fell to pieces shortly thereafter. The husband was so ashamed of his lower standing and apparently was downright cruel and nasty to his wife. They are now divorced and apparently the woman is now living back with her parents who owning up to their well-meaning mistake, take full responsibility for their daughter again.

I understand that divorce is also very much stigmatized in some parts of the country and within some social circles. But therein lies the logic of a dowry or the insistence of real estate for a woman when she marries.